My Leadership Failure on Juneteenth
I was a deployed squadron commander, which means I spent 365 days away from my family in Southwest Asia leading a unit. It was not my first choice of commands, but I had made deliberate family choices with the full knowledge that a deployed command was the likely outcome.
I oversaw a unit of over 450 Airmen in 11 different countries, working for 25 different organizations, and reporting to 75 different joint bosses. My unit's task was to receive, shepherd, and track these Airmen as they supported different services and organizations. When things went wrong, we were one of the first phone calls to fix it. Looking back, it was one of the most rewarding and difficult times in my life.
I'll share more about the leadership lessons I learned from that experience in subsequent posts, but today I want to share one of my biggest failures.
To care for and track these Airmen I had a team of ten who worked incredibly well together, though not without its friction (and sometimes high friction). Two of my youngest Airmen were African American. They approached me one day in June in my office and asked me if I knew what Juneteenth was. They said that if anyone would know, that I would.
When my Airmen came into my office, they had such confidence in me. It was an expression of "You see us." And as I searched my mind for what this word I had never heard meant, I could see the hope drain from their eyes. Then came the "It's okay, don't worry about it." I was just like everyone else, and what's more — I let them down.
As they walked out of my office I could only think, if this was so important to them, then why do I not know what it is? Why doesn't any of the staff know what it is? I quickly researched the meaning of Juneteenth and its significance.
For those who may not know, Juneteenth is the day when Major General Gordon Granger and the Union Army, about two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation, rode into Galveston, Texas and brought word to the slaves of the city that they had been freed. It was the last place where emancipation had not been enforced. I can't imagine finding out the President had freed me two and a half years prior and the pain that must have caused. I can't imagine how disorienting that would be — to be free legally, but not financially. Where do you go? What do you do? How do you negotiate wages? How do you feel a sense of community? It's no wonder many Black Americans moved from the South after the war. Now being free, how would someone navigate the feelings of injustice they may have felt?
As I discovered the history, I then researched how Black Americans celebrate the day. What does it mean to them today, in 2019? This was before George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery. Those incidents ignited a national discourse that led to the establishment of Juneteenth as a federal holiday in 2021. However, at this point in time, the celebrations remained local and personal. Arguably, they remain so. But should they?
I sent a message to my team letting them know what I had researched and encouraged them to celebrate with the team. Not because I wanted to be politically correct, but because of two fundamental reasons. First, it was important to their teammates, so it should have some level of importance to them out of mutual respect. And secondly, Juneteenth at its core is about whether or not we truly believe in the U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Do we really believe that all people are created equal and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights? Do we believe that what military members say they fight for is what we truly believe? And if we do, then the day is no longer isolated in importance to a certain subset of our community. It belongs to all of us. This doesn't take away from the day's attachment to the injustice of slavery and racism. It unites us in a common purpose.
What my research also taught me was that each of our experiences are unique to us and not uniform across the country. My team was from all over America: Indiana, Ohio, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, South Carolina, and California. We all see America a bit differently based on our hometowns, families, schooling, and when in time we grew up. Similarly, racism has not been uniform across the country. Years after the incident, I visited the national park in Tuskegee, which honors the creation of the first all-Black fighter unit, the Tuskegee Airmen. One of the exhibits describes how, even in 1942, the men faced different experiences of racism as they traveled to Tuskegee, Alabama, from across the country. Men traveling from the West Coast experienced less racism, weren't put in segregated trains, and were shocked to experience such treatment as they arrived in the South.
It may seem obvious to say, but our personal experiences and unique family and regional cultures influence us in ways we may not be aware. This is an important principle to understand as you develop your leadership. You will overlook something. You will say something that is colloquially or generationally acceptable, but not appropriate for the day. You will likely do or not do something which is interpreted as insensitive and you will be unaware when someone tells you. You will let your people down — not out of malice or neglect, but out of ignorance. Just like I did.
I still think about it. I can see the look on their faces and feel their deflation even today as I write this story.
The point is that as a leader you have blind spots. You are imperfect. Absolutely, you should aspire for perfection and to be the best version of yourself — but with honesty embrace that you can only have a disposition toward excellence. Its attainment forever remains elusive. And when you fall off the pedestal of leadership you sit upon, have the humility to be honest, embrace the mistake, and lead with empathy. I think of those Airmen every year. I think of the high hopes they had in me. And it is because of their hope that I share this story — so that you can more vigilantly seek to uncover those blind spots. And when they are illuminated in the looks of disappointment you see, seek humble restoration and continue on your pursuit to be better tomorrow.
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